Restlessness in Thornfield Hall

It has now been a few months since my arrival here at Thornfield Hall, and I'm finding this place to be quite cosy and agreeable - at the very least it's much more accommodating than the negligent conditions at Lowood. After spending eight years at Lowood School, as both a student and a teacher, I am enjoying the new responsibility of being a governess to only one particular young girl in addition to being housed in a very comfortable living situation.

Adele, the young French girl I tutor here at Thornfield, has proven to be quite intelligent and exuberant in her learning; although at times she displays characteristics of being a bit spoiled. And the housekeeper, Mrs. Fairfax, has become a companion of mine because I find myself becoming restless at times with nothing to do but ponder the many thoughts that run about my mind all day. In addition to Adele and Mrs. Fairfax, a Grace Poole resides here at Thornfield Hall and, as Mrs. Fairfax explained to me one day after I heard an eerie laughter from the third story, was said to be an "unbalanced and unpredictable" lady.

On the topic of my restlessness - one night I found myself wandering about outside observing the rising of the moon when a horse and a rider came galloping past me and promptly slipped on a patch of ice! The rider of course fell from the horse and lied on the ground injured so I hastened to his aide to help him up. While I was unable to see his face due to the eminent darkness, I was able to tell that he had injured his leg, or perhaps it was his foot. I offered to help the man back to Thornfield Hall to receive medical aide, because he clearly was unable to use his leg, but he merely brushed off my help coldly and refused to go to Thornfield Hall with me. After he inquired about the owner of Thornfield and about my own connection to the Manor - in which I answered him that I was the governess-- he mounted his horse and once again set off towards the rising moon with his white and black dog following closely behind.

After such an unexpected encounter on my walk, I headed back to Thornfield Hall to settle in for the night. Upon entering the Hall I heard a mingling of voices and shuffled to Mrs. Fairfax's room whereupon I discovered the same white and black dog sitting in front of the fireplace! Mrs. Fairfax then continued to explain to me that Pilot, the dog, belonged to the Master of the Hall, Mr. Rochester, whom had previously just arrived at Thornfield. How odd, I began to think, that Mr. Rochester didn't introduce himself as the Master of Thornfield when I offered to take him there for medical aide nor when I told him that I was the governess at the Hall. 

Throughout the next few days at Thornfield I didn't see much of Mr. Rochester - I assumed he was taking time to heal from his fall.

When Mr. Rochester began making appearances around the house, I found the first few encounters with him - encounters in which Adele and I were summoned by Mr. Rochester - to be quite peculiar in that he seemed very changed every time we encountered. Sometimes he was cold and abrupt, while other times he was uncharacteristically chatty with me. He took interest in my artwork and in my personal life, but seemed a bit snappy at other times throughout our conversations. After finding Mr. Rochester hasty and distant at times, I inquired with Mrs. Fairfax on the reasoning behind his strange behaviour and she informed me of his troubled past in which he inherited Thornfield Hall from his brother after he passed away just about nine years ago.

In another late-night conversation with Mr. Rochester, he let me into his personal life by telling me about his affair with Adele's mother and how she abandoned Adele so he took her in so she would receive the proper care. It was during conversations like this one that I was able to catch glimpses of the pain and hardships that Mr. Rochester had been through and was still dealing with.

I found myself lying in bed at night brooding over Mr. Rochester's insights and being unable to sleep. During one of my restless nights I heard a scratching sound coming from outside my room and whilst I was walking about the halls I discovered smoke coming from Mr. Rochester's room! Upon entering the room I saw that his curtains were on fire and I hastened to fetch water and consequently saved Mr. Rochester's life who remained sleeping in his bed uninterrupted by the flames in his room. Curiously enough, Mr. Rochester went upstairs to the third floor to confirm what exactly had happened, and upon returning confirmed with me that Grace Poole was indeed the culprit behind the fire and then he merely brushed it off. How intriguing, I thought the following morning, that everyone in the house was not fazed by the events of last night and acted as if Grace Poole hadn't set fire to Mr. Rochester's curtains! No one even seemed to be a little worried that a mad-woman was living in the house with them! 

As of now, Mr. Rochester is off at a party for the next several days with a Ms. Blanche Ingram, and during his absence I have realized that I'm hopelessly falling for the man. I can't explain why or how logically it makes sense since he is the Master of Thornfield and I am merely the governess, but it's undoubtedly true. He may be my superior, but he has so much to offer to a woman - including lasting love, financial security and a house. With each passing day of his absence I find myself missing him more and more. Oh, what shall I do? Yours, Jane Eyre (Source: Jane Eyre chapters 11-16)